People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
