...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
