Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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