so let's talk penis.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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