mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
