i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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