he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your cock deserves a montage
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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