true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
