do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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