On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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