AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
