Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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