If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize