god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sober January is a disaster.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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