OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
