I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
