I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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