It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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