Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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