how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
