i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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