Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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