just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
