I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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