Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
