I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
