Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is Oprah even human
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
