So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
