My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
that may or may not have been my penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
