The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
