people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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