life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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