Just fell off a train. Bad.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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