How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
