Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
