His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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