I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
