Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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