he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wear drunk well.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
