Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
