So drunk its hurt
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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