And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize