Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize