You can't special order awesome
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
