white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I want a musical about memes.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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