is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
