I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
