Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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