I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
