Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
