he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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