just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
