You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
