saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we should paint friendship bongs
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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