you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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