At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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