is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
