I'm going to rape someone's good day.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize