Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
