we made out on top of his cat.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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