Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
