Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i out mim tonsoeep
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