I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
