My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
