I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
