Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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