I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
