He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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