we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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