If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize