I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
time to smoke my breakfast
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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