Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
